How to Deal with an Avoidant Leader
Week 2 - Communication in the Workplace
Welcome to the βWeek 2 - Communication in the Workplaceβ Recap. πββοΈ
For this particular topic, as it is so expansive, I asked my community for their feedback on the challenging workplace conversations they face daily, and thatβs what Iβm focusing on addressing throughout this month.
(Itβs not too late to submit one here if you like!)
Over the past week, I dove headfirst into some of the challenges shared, which ranged from navigating difficult feedback to supporting overwhelmed teams.
A healthy workplace hinges off of healthy communication and so it is important to nip these matters in the bud before they fester and affect our workplace culture.
Here are the tips that I shared last week:
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For this, I recommend the SBI Framework β Situation, Behavior, Impact.
It focuses on facts, not feelings, which is especially important when communicating with confident high-performing team members.
Hereβs how it works:
Situation:
Describe when and where the behavior happened. Be specific.
π£οΈ βIn yesterdayβs client meeting when we were discussing the project timelineβ¦β
Behavior:
Focus only on what the person said or did. Not your interpretation.
π£οΈ ββ¦you interrupted the client several times and spoke over them.β
Impact:
Explain how the behavior affected others or the outcome.
π£οΈ βIt seemed to affect the clientβs confidence in our ability to listen and collaborate.β
Then open the floor:
π£οΈ βI wanted to check in with you on that. Can you walk me through what was happening on your end?β
Read more here.
"π»ππ ππππ π ππππππππ ππππππππ ππ πππππππ ππππ πππππ ππππ πππ πππ π π πππ πππππ. π»ππππ ππ-ππ ππ π ππππππ πππππ πππ ππππ πππππππ ππ πππππ, ππππ πππ πππππππππ"
Seems like this is an avoidant leader. This is actually very common in the workplace.
Hereβs a strategy I recommend:
β
The Bridge & Invite approach.
1οΈβ£ Bridge β Acknowledge their preference without judgment.
π£οΈ βI notice you prefer written updates. That's totally fair, especially with so much going on.β
2οΈβ£ Invite β Extend a non-threatening opening for conversation.
π£οΈ βFor this project, a quick 10-min huddle could really help us align faster. Would that work for you?β
When we lower the emotional temperature, people often show up differently.
Read more here.
"π―ππ π π πππ πππππππππππ πππ π πππ πππππ ππ ππ πππ ππππ ππ ππππππ π πππππππππππ πππππ?"
This situation came up multiple times in my survey!
Hereβs how to go about it:
1οΈβ£Acknowledge the load
π£οΈ βI can see you have several deliverables on your plate this week, and I appreciate how hard you are pushing to deliverβ
2οΈβ£Explain the why
π£οΈ βThis new request is a chance to secure a major contract, if we win this one, it will be good for everyone"
3οΈβ£Reprioritize together
π£οΈβWhat can we safely shift to next week? Which tasks are essential and which can be pushed back without major fallout?β
4οΈβ£Remove roadblocks and offer support
π£οΈ βTell me what resources or approvals would help you move faster and I will arrange the necessary support.β
5οΈβ£Advocate on their behalf
If there is no way that your team member can realistically manage the task in the set time frame, I always encourage leaders to advocate for their team members!
You rarely receive extensions you donβt ask for!
This also shows your team that you are actively working to protect their capacity.
Read more here.
BONUS:
β οΈIMPORTANT TIP FOR LEADERS:
You must advocate for your team.
Too many leaders are quick to correct their teams but slow to stand up for them.
That needs to change.
Advocating for your team communicates one powerful message:
You are seen. You are heard. You are respected. You are valued!
Advocacy is not about excusing poor performance.
Itβs about taking responsibility for the environment your team is in and giving them the tools and space they need to thrive.
Read more here.
As we continue exploring the theme of communication in the workplace, I hope these insights help you feel more equipped and confident to lead with clarity, empathy and courage.
Remember leadership isnβt about having all the answers β itβs about being willing to have the right conversations.
See you next week as we unpack even more real scenarios and practical strategies.
Until then, keep leading the conversations that matter.
If thereβs a situation youβd like me to speak on you can share it anonymously right here.
Make sure to follow me here on LinkedIn so you donβt miss a post.
Looking for more resources to support your leadership journey?
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Courageously,
Amoy